Saturday, December 31, 2011

It's Still December

No, I haven't abandoned my blog...I have just been...wait for it...busy.  Yep, that's all.  Busy.  That's a lame excuse, I realize, but I am willing to rattle off my list of reasons for staying away from my young, needy blog. Here they are:
In December, I was:
1.  Trying to work as much as possible before leaving the state (to spend Christmas with my fam in  
      Utah).  Census is up and they are actually allowing some overtime!  Gotta get it while the getting is good!

2.  Finishing up Christmas stuff, which included making homemade goodies such as Cranberry-Orange
      cookies and homemade ornaments (for 15 people), and the traditional photo calendars for the
      grandparents.  I always have these grand ideas of making cute stuff and though they usually turn out well, I
      typically underestimate the time they will take by, oh, about a WEEK.

3.  Preparing for the week long trip to Utah, including trying to pack, clean like crazy, do all the laundry, get
     someone to watch my cats, wrap all the gifts and arrange for someone to put out milk, cookies, carrots
     and water for Santa and his reindeer.

4.  Helping my daughter through all her December activities, such as: many, many rehearsals for the church
     Christmas play, 6 performances taking up two entire weekends; her usual ballet and then the Girl Scout
     activities she had along with some cookie sales.  We also went to the dentist and tried to see Santa at
     Crown Center (one side of her mouth was numb though and she didn't want a pic with Santa where she
     didn't have a proper smile).  

5.  Then, while I was on vacation in Utah...hmmm.  What excuse do I have?  Besides the jet lag, weird and
     yucky feeling from the altitude difference, the nasty cold likely from a fellow airplane passenger, numerous
     family activities and events including meeting the two newest members, Steven's wife Faridah and my
     other brother's new baby daughter, Olivia......I guess I don't have much of an excuse.  I took my laptop, I
     had excellent intentions, but...perhaps I watched too many episodes of The Vampire Diaries.

6.  Upon returning home, there's the usual laundry, return to work, unpacking and sorting of all the goodies
     my daughter and I brought home and seeing everyone we've missed while we were away.  Sigh!

I think that's all.  I feel better about letting my poor blog suffer...well, a little better.  I truly am mad at myself for only posting once this month.  So much has happened!

There's no time like New Year's Eve to renew my dedication to writing daily and posting a blog frequently!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Depression and the Death of Don Harman

Though I wasn't very familiar with Don Harman, the local weatherman in Kansas City for Fox News, the news of his death by suicide is still shocking and very, very saddening.

Don Harman, known for his outgoing personality and cheerful exterior, had apparently been struggling with depression for many years. What troubles me the most about the death of this man, who seemingly had everything from a fabulous career, friends aplenty, a wife and daughter, no doubt a lucrative income; is that if even he, at 41 years old and with all this going for him, couldn't kick his depression, what hope do others have?  He seemingly did everything right, sought treatment, filled his life with the stuff of dreams - - and it still consumed him.

For me, the worst part about this tragedy is that it further depresses and worries me about the nature of depression itself.  A lot.  That is something that I am familiar with and why this story touches close to my heart.  Despite all Mr. Harman's success, and all the things he did to try to control the disease, his depression evidently worsened over time instead of improving.  Is this something that others suffering can live to fear?  That despite everything we do, there is no escape?  I feel distress not only for myself, but for others out there like him, like me, who have to hide this, who have to wait until tomorrow or next week or even next year to maybe feel a little bit better.

I've always told myself it won't always be like this.  That one day, when I feel like my life is in order, it will slide way into the backseat and maybe even disappear.  The case of Don Harman shoves it right in my face and says, "Maybe it won't.  Maybe it will only get worse."

So then...what to do?